Freedom

I tried to open my eyes in the dimly lit room. My head pounded as powerful drugs worked their way through my system. I groaned in pain when I tried to rise, I realized I was strapped down to the bed. Definitely a smart move on their part. I pulled with all my strength but the straps held. Several questions floated through my head like angry storm clouds, the most puzzling one; why was I still alive? After all I had almost killed the director of the agency. My only desire was that I killed the bastard, but my gut told me I hadn’t. He had betrayed me and left me to die and I returned the favor. Panic set in and I pulled harder at the straps. I was alone and helpless, wherever they had stashed me and whatever they had planned for me was out of my control. At this moment I realized my career was over and more than likely my life.

I panicked more at the thought of being used as a bargaining chip in a hostage swap with some foreign dictator. If that became a reality I would have to find a way to end my own life. My one cardinal rule had been not to be taken alive by the enemy only now my friends were my enemies.

I’ve always been a big girl, just under 6 feet tall. I guess I have the attitude to go with it. Growing up I was teased and called an Amazon by the girls and the boys were just intimidated of my size and athletic abilities. I spent most of my childhood alone, lost in books that took me on adventures in faraway lands. Little did I know, I would live those adventures out in real life. 

Petr found me when I was 16. That was the beginning of my life and that was the end of my life, as well. My size and strength was an asset and the fact I was smoking hot helped me get away with murder, literally.

My life had been like Cinderella’s except the one abusing me was flesh and blood and supposed to protect me. Maybe that was the type of childhood that pushed someone over the edge to become a killer. Was it the lack of maternal love or nurturing? There was no nice way to gloss over what I do or what I have done. Nature or nurture? I wasn’t sure what was behind my unnatural and unladylike behavior as my mother called it.   

There was nothing like a lover’s betrayal to make you want to run and hide in the nearest hole from this so called humanity  but I couldn’t do that, it just wasn’t in my nature. No matter how bad things got, I fought on, was it my competitive nature or just out of spite, I did not know. I was survivor and I was a here to stay.

I didn’t like being strapped down to this damn bed, I needed action. When I was still for too long my mind wanders and I get all introspective and dark. I pulled at the straps again and collapsed back on the bed…now, I had to pee.

I knew this wasn’t going to be a good day when the man I hated most walked into the room, now, after Brian’s betrayal, I guess he was the second most hated. “You’re hard to kill, kind of like a cockroach” Jason circled me like a hyena looking to make a kill. “You’re lucky to be alive. Brian isn’t dead. You always were a fuck up.”

I shrugged as best I could in my predicament. “Do you mean because I survived the suicide mission he sent me on or because I was sloppy and didn’t finish him when I got home?” I knew the prick wasn’t dead and don’t think killing him was my actual intention or he would be dead. I wasn’t that foolish because one way or the other I would have been out of the agency. 

“Untie me and I’ll show you what a fuck up I am. Why don’t you smile for me and show me those pretty teeth of yours.” I pulled hard at the straps and Jason jumped back out of reach The terrified look on his face, priceless.

“Just because you sucker punched me once doesn’t mean you can do it again.”  He leaned in close and jumped when I pulled at the restraints.

“You keep telling yourself that.” I chuckled and regretted the wave of pain that followed.

 “The only reason you’re alive is because someone stepped in on your behalf.” Jason, always was a smug bastard and I always wanted to kick his ass somewhere other than the training ring. He made a mistake thinking he could beat me because I was a woman. He never bothered me in the ring after that. I even offered to pay for the dental work he needed but he refused, go figure.

His statement puzzled me; I had no real friends here. I stopped making them years ago after Petr disappeared. It was just too much to invest emotions into a relationship and when that person doesn’t come home one day when their mission goes south. Pain like that makes you shut down and I couldn’t be any more emotionally isolated than I already was…except for Brian. He was a smooth talker who knew all the right things to say to get me into his bed. He was the director and I never had to worry about him not coming home. I just never thought I’d have to worry about me being the one to not make it home.

He walked to the door, opened it and mumbled something I couldn’t quite hear. Then he left. I held my breath and wondered what fate awaited me on the other side of that door.

“You really did it this time.” I heard the accent before I saw the man. It was Petr, the man who brought me into the agency, my mentor, my first lover, the man who taught me how to kill and how to survive in the world of death he brought me into. I would say he had done a pretty damn fine job up until this last stunt of mine. When Petr unties me I hope to show him a little ‘hell hath no fury’ stuff before he kills me. The wave of calm was followed by apprehension and fear, even my drugged up nerves started to fire. I wondered what was in the bag he was carrying. I had seen him carry a bag like that many times before when he needed to extract information or to simply bring someone to a slow, painful end. Petr had disappeared years after I went into the field, no words and no explanations. I believed he had died alone on a mission in some far away land. What was he doing here now?

“I never thought it would be you.” I said in my bravest voice.

Petr clicked his tongue in that scolding matter that reminded me of an angry hen; it had always annoyed the hell out of me. I hadn’t been this wasted in a long time whatever drug they had given me was causing rushes of giddy with a hint of paranoia. I couldn’t help myself and I burst out laughing. He bent over me and I felt a rush of heat burn through me. I was helpless, but then I was always helpless in his presence. That was the kind of man he was, an enigma, as forceful and deadly as he was gentle. I would always be the student who could never eclipse her master. He smiled and his eye crinkled at the corners. He had aged, we both had. I was no longer the naïve child but was still in awe of the man.

Petr wrinkled his nose. “You smell like burnt cat.” He played with what was left of my once long, red hair then clicked his tongue in disgust.

I didn’t want to know how he knew what burnt cat smelled like and I wasn’t going to ask.

“Make it quick,  you owe me that much.”  I demanded. A quick death was not Petr specialty.

“You always were a fighter even when the odds were against you. “To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee; For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” This was my favorite quote from Melville. No rainbows or sunshine, just life stripped down to its basest level that expressed my determination to win at all costs, even if it killed me. I felt like a fool when hot, wet tears slide down my cheeks. After all these years, he had remembered. His accent wasn’t as thick as before but still present and in a way, I found it soothing. We had broken the cardinal rule, a lifetime ago; teacher and student had become lovers. There was a tragic irony of him being the one to end my life. But then my life had been one long suicide mission and it had to end sometime.

Petr bent over me, grabbed my wrists, and then kissed me, slow and deep and so very familiar. If I hadn’t been in the bed I would have collapsed into a heap in his arms. He whispered as he nuzzled my cheek. “He’s going to die a very slow, painful death from an infection.” He kissed me again and released my wrists, his hands slowly made their way down my body poking at burnt and torn clothing along the way, until he reached my ankles.

Petr was the master of slow, sexual torture. I burst free and threw myself into his arms; he held me so tightly I could barely get my breath. It felt like we had never parted. “How I have missed you,” he whispered. The moan that escaped my lips was my only reply.

“Get dressed.” He demanded and I staggered my way to what I was hoping was a bathroom. “Hey,” Petr said. He threw the bag at me, I looked inside…clothes.

Petr pushed the bathroom door open and grunted loudly when he saw me struggling to take the clothes off my charred and bruised body.

“Bastard,” Petr murmured. He grabbed me roughly then let go. “Stand still.” his tone as harsh. He pulled a knife from his boot and skillfully cut the clothes from my body. His hand was shaking when he finished and the look in his eye, lethal.

“They’re not going to let me just walk out of here after what I did.”

I went to open my mouth and he raised his hand to silence me. I hung my head. I had failed us both and I my actions were endangering him now, as well.

Revenge

I awoke confused to the worst the headache of my life. I sat up slowly, it felt like my entire body had been beaten repeatedly with a very large stick. I had flashbacks of the mission, of seeing myself in flames on the computer screen. I picked at the bandage that covered a large burn on my leg. Brian came damn close to making my death a reality. It had to be him, whoever had been shadowing me had ample opportunities to attack and didn’t. Where was my rescuer and was he also my shadow? Whoever had brought me here had taken care with my wounds. The table by the bed was covered in medical supplies, an enemy or a bounty hunter wouldn’t have bothered. They would get paid whether I was alive or dead, taking me alive usually meant a bonus. I dug around and found a bottle of pain killers. I took three and prayed for relief. I appeared to be in your typical safe house, well worn furniture and bare necessities. I grabbed a scalpel just to be safe and headed to the kitchen.

The pot of coffee was still warm so I poured a big cup. I found sandwiches in the fridge and searched while I ate, weapons, info, where the hell was I? How was I going to get my hands around Brian’s throat? I was going to squeeze until his eyes popped out of his skull.

The pain medication kicked in and I formulated my plan for revenge. I didn’t care the cost. I was done with this business, this life. I found a pile of cash and took what I needed, leaving the rest. I had a long drive ahead of me with plenty of time to figure out which painful way I was going to kill Brian. The sun was going down, I found keys and hoped there was something drivable in the garage. It was in decent condition with almost a full tank and current tabs. It would get me where I was going. I pulled out of the garage and headed into an uncertain future.

Brian was predictable, always the first to arrive at work. I parked the car and staked out the building. The sun was just beginning to rise. I drank in what would more than likely be my last sunrise. The odds of me getting in and out weren’t in my favor, but I was known for beating the odds. All I wanted now was revenge at any cost.

The light came on in Brian’s office and I knew it was time to make my move. I hadn’t bothered to look at myself at the safe house but it must have been bad. “Man, are you alright?” A homeless man asked me. “I’ve seen dead people who look better than you.” No doubt, I thought to myself. I threw him a ten spot and kept moving towards my target. “Thanks and God bless.” He shouted after me. God wanted no part of what I was going to do to Brian.

This early there might only be one at the desk. I can’t imagine my ID would still work but it was worth a try. The guard had stepped away which was good I didn’t want to hurt any innocent bystanders. I scanned my card but it kept coming up declined. In the process the guard had returned. “Can I help you?” he asked.

“Hey, Pat. My badge doesn’t seem to working.” I said.

He looked terrified. “You’re supposed to be dead. I deactivated your badge.”

“Pat, do I look dead to you?”

“No, but you look like someone stomped the piss out of you and set you on fire.”

I shrugged. “It was a rough assignment.” 

“Why don’t I call up to Brian and let you two figure it out?”

“That’s not going to work for me, Pat.” Sadly, for Pat he was within reach and I grabbed his taser and stunned him. I let myself in with his ID then dragged his ass to the elevator for his palm print to let me upstairs. I handcuffed him and stuffed him in a maintenance closet. I kept his taser and took his gun as well. I chewed a few more pain killers and readied myself to kill Brian.

I made it to the top floor, the doors opened and I was ready for a fight. It was quiet unfortunately for Brian, no one was there to save him from me.

He must have heard the elevator doors. “Jenny, honey is that you?” he said in a sickeningly sweet tone. I wasn’t even cold in my grave and he was two timing me.

“Such a beautiful sunrise, let’s spend it together.” He was staring out the window when I walked into the door way. He caught my reflection in the window. The look on his face was priceless.

“Did you miss me, honey?” I could see the wheels turning. How to approach this mess he had created, violence or lies. Eventually, it would lead to violence, it always does. He opted for violence, big mistake. He opened the drawer for his gun and I was on him like a lion on a gazelle. I punched him three times in the face so fast he dropped his gun. “Fight me like a man you chicken shit, bastard.” I was so filled with rage I grabbed him and threw him over the desk. He scrambled to his feet and ran for the elevator. In my line of work if I let something like this slide I would paint an even bigger target on my back

“You tried to kill me you little prick.” He managed to trip an alarm along the way. It didn’t matter anymore. We squared off and he gave a few pathetic shots. I could smell the fear on him. I hit him with a spinning back kick and he went down like a sack of rags. “Why, Brian? You could have just dumped me.”

“I can’t move.” He pleaded.  “I think you broke my back.”

I hauled him over to the elevator and put him in the door way to keep the elevator shut off. The door smacked him over and over as it tried to close.

“Kind of sounded like it.” I said, casually. “Chances are we’re both going to die today.”  I had a hard time accepting I had ever let this weak toad touch me. He wasn’t dead, but it was close enough. I walked over to him. “Goodbye, Brian. You knew who I was when you tried to kill me. I always win.” I dropped my gun and headed to the back stairwell. I didn’t come here to rampage and kill innocent people, I was here for revenge and I had gotten it.

The back elevator had been locked down. I could hear them coming up the stairwell like a herd of elephants. None of these desk jockey clowns would have made it a minute in my world. I was trapped unless I wanted to go to the roof and get picked off or take a swan dive out a window. I did what I always do, I kicked the stair well door open and walked in with my hands up. I do love to make an entrance.

My least favorite person was waiting behind that door. “Did you know he was going to kill me, Jason?” I yelled. Jason deemed himself to be a superior white male and tried to take me in the ring, he didn’t and he’s had it out for me ever since.

“Too bad it didn’t work.” He yelled back. I was then hit with several tasers, while I was on my knees enjoying the jolt, Jason stepped in and punched me in the face.

The Wolf

The Wolf

The night was clear, cloudless, the sky riddled with millions of shinning points of light. The quarter moon was just enough light to be a help and not a hindrance. A silver sliver hung in the sky, a brighter speck among the shimmering sea of light.

Phoenix was a summer storm that appeared out of nowhere, unpredictable, violent and yet breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time. She came and left just as quickly leaving devastation in her wake. Her hair was bright like the sunset, after a wildfire had consumed everything in its path without mercy. The red mass was neatly stuck under a stocking cap and her face was seared with camouflage makeup.

Lucas Kincaid watched her over the years become the best he had ever seen. At one time he had been the best but he had lost the desire to live in that world and eased his way out or that’s what he told himself. He stayed just involved enough to keep an eye on her. She was always a step or two ahead of whatever was coming at her. In a league all her own, maybe that was part of the problem, even he was in awe, but mostly he was afraid of her rejection. She was an unwitting pawn in this chess game and under no obligation to follow the script that was written for her before she was born but the time had come that she was aware that it existed. She had become an unhealthy addiction and he needed to end it.

Something rustled in the branches above him, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. It was a raccoon. He should have checked more carefully, their comings and goings could bring unwanted attention to him. Their nightly search for food, consisted of garbage or anything else that was unfortunate enough to get caught in those tiny, creepy hands of theirs. They sensed he was there and begrudgingly remained in the nest, unsure what type of predator he was.

Lucas didn’t know what would happen if he came face to face with Phoenix under these conditions. He doubted she would give him time enough to explain the situation. She was tenacious and even when she lost she still found a way to win by changing the rules. He couldn’t say with certainty that  he could take her either.

She chose the best place for entry and Lucas chose the best place to watch her work. Lucas picked the second bet vantage point and waited. He had slipped in earlier when the rest of the facility had been emptied and killed the guards, leaving only the two walking the perimeter. He had assumed this was going to be an ambush but instead the facility had been cleared and no sign of their return. Something felt off, definitely wrong, that’s why he was here. He had swept the building for bombs with a dog. It was actually a wolf hybrid he had found. Like him, the breed didn’t belong in man’s world and no pack would have him; but he had a nose for explosives and a love of Lucas. He wasn’t a house dog so Lucas kept him fed as he roamed the woods of his property always seeming to search for a pack of his own.

He watched as she made an amazing dive off the tree. He wanted to close his eyes as she jumped; but the grace and skill of her landing made it worth it. He could only imagine her surprise when she found them all dead inside. Anxiety gnawed at the back of his gut like a buzz saw; as far as he knew the threat was neutralized and yet he still felt anxious like there as something more coming.

Lucas heard it long before it arrived. He wouldn’t have imagined a drone strike that would be overkill for anyone but her. Brian was talking no chances on her surviving this mission. She was a cat with nine lives, but he wasn’t sure how many she had left at this point. He closed his eyes and listened trying to pick up a direction and speed. This was going to be more challenging than he thought.

He spotted the drone in his scope and fired off several shots. It spun off course and the rocket launched into the woods. To his dismay there was a second drone, Lucas emptied the magazine. The second drone didn’t fire, instead it flew straight into the building and exploded. The tree shook and both he and the raccoons were pelted with debris from the building. He had no idea if Phoenix had managed to get out before the explosion.

Lucas ran to the wall, the field of wreckage was large and his time, short. He started digging through the rubble; but it was far too big a task. He closed his eyes and concentrated on her. He always knew where she was, there was a connection he didn’t understand and it was one she knew nothing about. The last two missions like tonight, she had known he was there in the darkness watching. He moved ten feet to the east and started digging. He found her under one of the doors, unconscious. He brushed of the dirt and checked for a pulse, there was none. He cleared away enough debris to lay her flat to do CPR, after a few minutes she started to respond. Unsure what type of injury she had, he had no choice but to move her to a safe house and hoped she survived. Phoenix was 130 pounds of dead weight and tightly packed muscles.

Arriving at the safe house just as the morning sky was coming to life and the nights stars were dying. Lucas closed the garage door behind him and carried her into the house. Phoenix was breathing, but unconscious. Lucas ran his hand over her body searching for breaks, but found nothing obvious. Afraid it was head trauma and a ruptured spleen and she was bleeding out internally. There was no way of knowing how her body would cope with something as severe as these injuries. Phoenix healed much faster than he did and there was no longer a magic serum to extend his life. He guessed he was a failed experiment. As much as he hated to, he had to call Petr and tell him what happened, Petr had connections and maybe there was a chance Petr could get her serum before it was too late. He picked up the phone and prepared to beg if necessary.

“Did you hear what happened?”

“Now what?”

“Brian tried to kill her in an explosion. He succeeded. Do you have anything for her?”

“No, I have been cut off.”

“She’s in bad shape.”

“I know Lucas but there’s nothing I can do for you or her right now.”

 “Petr, if she dies I’m coming for you and I’m not going to stop until one or both of us is dead.”

“I expect nothing less from you, Lucas. At some point you have to stop blaing me for your inaction all those years ago”

“She was a child, Petr. You took advantage.”

“Take care of our girl, Lucas.”

Phoenix had never been his girl, Petr had seen to that. He went to work on cleaning her up and treating any obvious wounds, like the burn to her leg. In all these years this was as close as he had ever been to her. She brought out the fear in him, fear of love, fear of loss, fear of rejection. Fear was an unknown aspect of his personality and it caused him to shy away from her instead of taking chances. His fear had caused this and he’d have to spend the rest of his life living with that thought. He carefully cut at the cloth of her pants. The burn was deep and it looked red and angry like a 3^rd degree burn, there wasn’t much he could do but to clean it and hope for the best.

Lucas took a long shot and decided to give her a transfusion with his blood. Her pulse was erratic and she was obviously bleeding out internally. Their blood was compatible and there was nothing left to lose at this point except, Phoenix, and he wasn’t ready to let her go. Not now that he had come this far.

Her eyes fluttered opened. He took her hand and brushed back her hair. “You’re not alone.” He said. This wasn’t the first person he sat with while they died but this wasn’t how her or his life was supposed to play out. She looked confused, frightened and then the light left her beautiful eyes and he knew she was gone. He kissed her hand and blinked back tears. He had never cried, he had come so close to finally reaching out to her. That was the difference between the two of them. She was fearless in all things.

The Phoenix was part myth and part reality. He probably knew more about her than anyone other than Petr and even he wasn’t certain of her full potential. There was no pulse or respiration and from what he knew that wasn’t how resurrection worked with her, but then he had never witnessed it. There was so much damage to repair this time he wasn’t certain she could come back and Petr gave him the run around. He didn’t plan on giving up just yet.